Entry Eleven: Overcoming the Bullying Odds

The other day when I was feeling sick, I decided to take a nap to rest off on how I was feeling and let me tell you, I’ve felt like crap, however, during my nap, I had a dream about something that I wanted to share and that was a girl being bullied on the way walking home from Drexel Hill Middle School. Her name was Adrianna and she was being bullied because of her appearance even though she looked pretty, but the girl name Jessica bullied her because she had acne all over her face. I was walking behind her and I pulled Adrianna and I told her to come along with me. I found Jessica and grabbed her too and I asked why she made fun of her. I’ve asked the both of them why they have a problem with one another. Adrianna didn’t speak, Jessica called her names right in front of her which made her cry. I told Jessica that words hurt, but she gave me that preteen attitude of “I don’t care” Until I told her to knock it off. I sat with both of them on the sidewalk and discussing their problems with one another as Jessica did say she was sorry and would try to be nicer. However, my dream didn’t last long as I had to wake up from my nap so I wouldn’t over sleep.

The reason why I am writing this blog because I want to talk about how I overcame my bullying odds over the course of the years of my life; it was not hard, but it was sure not easy. You see, a lot of you may know me as someone that is cheerful, friendly, crazy and most importantly, hard working young women that is known for speaking her mind out. A lot of you that have been my friend online for the longest time here and I like to talk about stuff, but there is one side of my life that I haven’t told and that was me being bullied. I know that I am going to sound like a broken record on repeat, but I need to say something that is on my chest about this.

Now, I have made countless videos about me talking about bullying and how it happened. Infact, there was some points online that I had people tweeting me about how I was ugly and so forth and messaging me on Facebook and calling me a pig and a slut before deactivating their account before I could take the step further. While on Facebook or Twitter, you can block them and poof they are gone (Trust me, I have 30 something people on Facebook blocked because they either A bullied me or B I don’t want anything to do with them. I choose both because they are unworthy to be on my page) However, while I am in the real life, and when I see the bullies, I try my best to ignore them and shut them out, but when someone says something about me or make fun of me, I have to open my mouth and tell them to fuck off. While it does work, it comes back at me and I hate when it happens. It appears that I cannot open my mouth living down here which leads to this.

Back in the Poconos, where I come from and if you were being picked on by someone and trust me, I had something nasty shit said to me in the second grade, but let me tell you something, whatever was said, it got them in trouble, however throughout my life living in Clifton Heights, Drexel Hill and going to school here, it was, if you ratted someone out, you would be labeled a “snitch”. While I had my fair share of ratting people out, it was for my protection and my life with the bullying. How was I going to go to school down here and get an education? I don’t care about what people are saying as I am stating on how I feel and what I feel about this, but it seemed like each time I got help, I would lose and it would take the bullying side. Trust me, when I made a threat against a bully, I would have been suspended or take a detention, but that didn’t stop them as it kept on going or when I was threatened because I was getting attacked in gym class and nearly had a pin struck right in the head from being told by a friend and being told that if I was going to rat out on them, I would be jumped right after school. Turns out that my mom got involved with that one, had the police come and the following day at school, I had people come around me to be on my side only to have the girl that started this all backed out, but my mom was told that she was budging in the investigation and only had to take action the MONDAY from the actual principal only to have to be moved to another classroom. While I felt victory over that particular person, I felt ganged up by friends of that person over the years.

So here is where I overcame the bullying odds. I matured over time and I was confident of being capable of holding myself in. Infact, one of the bullies that was bothering me about being a Yankees Fan and let me tell you something, it sucked being a fan of them, especially during the 2008 World Series, but in 2009, we knew what happened, another victory for me, but back on topic, I had enough and shoved them into a locker and was pissed off and told them not to mess around with me again. I didn’t get caught or anything, I proved myself that I was not going to take their shit anymore or another story in tenth grade where someone bullied me in Elementary School makes a comment that I am nothing, but dirt which set me off and I wanted to kill him only to have the fact that he was in my class the following year, but did not say shit to me about certain stuff. However over the years, I’ve seen the bullies come to Delaware County Community College, but they’ve dropped out while I got my associates degree in Applied Sciences which I am very happy about, but when I see the bullies that attacked me throughout the years and saying that I was not going to go far in my life, where are they now? Where are the ones that made fun of me? That’s the question I want everyone to think of a good answer about.

While I feel like this blog is not talking quote on quote shit about anyone that came in my past, I just want to send a message to these bullies: Nearly Twelve years since this all started, TWELEVE long years that this has been haunting me, why have you hurt me? Why have you made fun of me when I have done nothing to you? Can you guys think of a good answer to give me with that? For years, this has been haunting me, for years this has been scaring me. You’ve put me down so much, but guess what, NONE of you could have break me in half like you’ve tried. I am not the same Meagan Gearity that you would make false rumors about which were a lie, I am not the same Meagan Gearity that you would try to call names, I am not the same Meagan Gearity who you can attack for liking different sports teams. I am Meagan Gearity, a Bullying survivor, a Delaware County Community College Graduate, A Wrestling Fan, a Yankees Fan, A Spurs Fan, a Patriots Fan and A Flames Fan. None of you could have broke me in the past and now you can’t.

And to everyone that has been my friend for years or to my family members that supported me, thank you for having my back throughout this time.

Thanks for Reading

By themeagang