Entry Seventeen: The Real Truth on why I didn’t like my prom; What could’ve been done

If some of you guys are on my Facebook page, I posted a status about my frustrations and my dislikes from prom. I tagged some people in the status because most of them knew what happened, most of my friends that are in the #HeelGrape group from twitter would know what would’ve been redone if I had it my way once again. Even though, my prom anniversary is coming up and it’s been five years, I look back and think about some of the things that would’ve been done and what the purpose of actually having fun would’ve been. My friend of nine years thought I had fun, but deep down inside, I didn’t. So welcome to my side of the shoot and welcome to my seventeenth edition of my personal blog where I will shoot everything I have to say regarding this.

Three months prior to the senior prom, my mom and I were talking about it actually and I discussed how I did not want to go because one being that I didn’t have someone to go with me and I asked her how would she afford everything. At the time, the economy sucked and money was tight in the house. I told my mom that she didn’t have to do anything and that for the sake of her, I won’t go, but my mom told me that she wanted to see me dressed up for the first time. The phone rang and it was my friend that called me up. We talked about the day and how everything went down. I remember in her tone of voice of excitement about prom and asking me if I was going. A little hesitant, I had to put my mom on speaker phone along with her as my friend discussed what places had prom dresses, in my size at the time. My mom, myself and her talked about it for at least thirty minutes until it was time to go as I would see her in the morning and in first period to talk about it more before I had to leave for Vo-Tech in the afternoon. My mom and I talked and said that the weekend that was coming up, would be the weekend that we would look at dresses. I was excited, but the pressure was on with my mom to see how she would pull this out for me to go.

Saturday came and I was really excited because we were getting ready to try on some dresses. I remember going into the store, rubbing my hands and saying that this was going to be good. We met up with a nice women and she was nice enough to allow us to try some dresses out. I wanted to go for a Beauty and the Beast look of Belle because Belle was my favorite character as well as picking out some colors as well to see what would go. The first one was a pink one that looked good on me, then it was a pink and white one that was OK before the yellow one which had to be the best looking one out of the both of them, but there was a problem. My boobs were lopsided and the dress couldn’t fit because of them. I was devastated and wanted to give up at the same time because it was something I wanted to wear, but I said to myself, “I want to go to prom and I will do everything to fit in a dress, even if my tits prevent me”. It was down to the last two that actually fit on me, the white/pink and the full pink one. My mom and I decided those were the last two that I needed to try on and that we would make our decision, the Saturday in two weeks because the following Saturday, I was heading to New York to see my dad that weekend.

The weekend with my dad had come and gone and it was another school week. I was antsy and dancing in my desk at Vo-Tech because the day was getting near of the final dress date. Finally the weekend had come and it was time for the final dress fitting. The weather was nice and the day was warm. I was so ready to try on the final dresses. My mom and I met with the same women that helped us two weeks prior and she remembered the dresses. Taking a look at the dresses, I decided that the pink and white one is my favorite, but my mom and the women said that the full pink one was the one to go with because it fit me better and it looked better. We had to make some arrangements on getting straps on because I didn’t want to go strapless with me hanging out. We got the shoes that we needed and plus, I was graduating in a couple of weeks, and I needed some type of shoes anyways. From there everything went smooth, until Memorial Day Weekend of the same year.

It was a couple of days till prom and my mom’s mini van had died in New Jersey because the fuel pump wouldn’t start to make the car start. We were screwed and had to call a tow truck to drive us back home to our state. I was shaking, crying and upset because a lot of things were coming up, my prom, my year book that I wanted to get, and so forth. I couldn’t even sleep and didn’t want to come to school the next day, but had to and on top of that, my bus driver that drove us to Vo-Tech each day, accidentally tapped a women who was on her iPod and didn’t see the bus coming and the cops had to interview me, my friend and someone else on the bus. Not a good way to start the week, but the end of the week was coming up fast and finals were coming up. The pressure was on for senior year and the prom as well.

So that horrible week past and it was time for prom coming up, I had to get through two finals on the same day because I finished Vo-Tech for good and it was time to take the final. I remember talking to someone who went to Vo-Tech with me right after we got done our finals. He was going to prom with his girlfriend and asked me if I was going with someone. I said no and I was going there just to be with some friends and have a good time. The bell rang and I didn’t have to come back to Upper Darby for after prom early Sunday Morning. Relieved that the week was over and done, but the fun started. I went to my mom to work to hang out with my Cheyney University Family that my mom works with. (They are my family because they saw my brother and I grow up and she is well liked there) I remember talking to one of the professors and how excited I was, but the weather was cold and damp. Perfect day to get things done. So right after my mom’s work, we went to my nail salon which is right down the street from me and got a well needed pedicure on my feet as well as getting my nails done and on top of that, my eyebrows waxed. Never in a million years have I got something on my face and let me tell you, it STUNG and HURT, but after doing it a couple of times which I have done, it doesn’t really hurt that much. You have to get used to it, but there was a downfall to this. My mom wasn’t going to have me get my hair done for the prom and that she was going to do it herself.

Prom Day Saturday, Promzilla comes out.

It was the day of the prom and I had to do some stuff around the house at first before I would do anything and I was talking to someone online like I always done for the past couple of years now. I showered, but the house was too hot and that my mom didn’t turn on the AC just yet. I was sweating already and it didn’t help. My hair dried up and she had to brush it out. Now I know I can allow hair cutters cut my hair because they know that they are doing, but my mom should NOT be allowed to brush or touch my hair. Since my hair was semi long at the time, she was YANKING the damn tangles out of my hair and was hurting me since they were already out, but she was still pulling at it. She then straightened my hair out and let me tell you, it was a mess right after because it became frizzy. We didn’t have anything to calm it down from ending up like that. I freaked out at my mother right after when I was up in her room and we argued about how messy I looked. In frustration, I looked at my prom dress and SLAMMED the whole entire thing right on the ground. I was pissed off and let out a scream. The whole day would’ve been spent and take some time going to freaking Hair Cuttery and doing my hair for the prom where someone could do an actually style to it because my hair is so thick. After I calmed down, I picked up the prom dress and slammed it on the railing to let my mom do the make up part. The phone rang and it was my friend, who asked if I was going to be jumping in the limo with them. I said no and I don’t want to be talked with right now and I will explain what was going on when I see her at the table as we hung up.

The time of me having to be at the prom was coming up and I wanted to persuade my mom that I was not feeling well and that I wanted to pull out the last-minute. Of course, that would be a selfish thing to do for me because my mom did a lot for this to me to go. I calmed down and finally put on the dress, along with the shoes and the crown, that I would eventually lose right after by mistake, but I think to this day that it was stolen because people were stealing a lot of stuff at prom now that I think of it. My mom was ready and she was taking pictures. On the outside, I was happy, but on the inside, I was not happy. I was hurting because I didn’t have someone to take the photos with me, but to add insult to injury, my stepdad HAD to come along for the ride. I did NOT want him to join my brother and I because during the time, my stepdad was really nagging and getting me really upset and if I didn’t do anything after high school, I would be kicked out and living on the streets, but now he sees some of the frustrations I’m going through right now, he leaves me alone and doesn’t bother me (though he really needs to stop with the snide comments as well). We arrived to Drexelbrook and I remember my mom telling me to have a good time and everything, but I told my mom I won’t and that I HATE THIS and never want to do this again and that the day was ruined. I was so mad that I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to turn around and run in the woods behind to me run away and to make matters worse I was bombarded by my class mates. I told them to leave me alone and that I did not want to be talked to. I was getting complemented on how I looked, but I didn’t accept it. I hated being there and I hated. There was a guy that was taking videos and asked me if I wanted to join in. I didn’t respond and my classmates were doing everything to cheer me up. After being annoyed, I told the guy that was doing the video to “FUCK OFF, and I didn’t need to be with people who I was NOT friends with.” Of course, he was afraid and didn’t even bother to ask if I was OK or not. It was time to finally go in and I walked slowly in. I was right after a couple of people to check in and my counselor saw me and had the biggest smile on her face, but she knew that I wasn’t happy. She asked if I was OK like she had done in the past, but I didn’t say a peep to her at all. I was trying my best not to cry as my throat was getting into knots. She said if I needed anything, she would be there.

So going into Drexelbrook, which as a nice place and reminds me of a palace, I went into the room where you had to get a photoshoot done with the pictures you had to pay for. I was trying to do a pose here and I knew it would be bad and it was bad. I thought it was horrible and added some more grief the day. I wanted to give up and spent my night either in the lobby or go home to say I was not feeling well, but I promised my friend that we would have a good time. After waiting for a while for my friend to show up, she and her boyfriend FINALLY came and I was relieved to see her. I explained what happened before and she told me, don’t worry about it at all and that this was a night dedicated to friends and the last time with people. I did have a “good time” with my friends, but I felt that it was not fun. The reason why I said “it was not fun” because most of the time, some songs that were really dirty came on and the ratchet side came up. I remember looking at the corner of my eye and seeing someone literally dry humping a someone else’s date which had me grossed the hell out. Seriously? But then again, I expected it and the back of the crowd was worse because they were grinding up on walls and humping each other in the back. Pathetic if you asked me, but the night was better as a saw a former teacher of mine, who I was talking to that night and we were talking about my brother as he had him and told me that he was a pleasure to teach and remind him of me in a way. We joked around about the Phillies and Yankees and if one day, the Phillies and Yankees were to play in the World Series (That did come true and the Yankees did win their World Series, VICTORY!). We got a picture with each other and the girl that he was with was really rude towards me when I didn’t even say a word to her besides a simple, hello, but that didn’t bother me. The slow dances were really tough to watch because I didn’t have a partner to dance with and seeing some of the people out there, did break my heart because I was alone and didn’t have someone to dance with. Finally, prom as over and done with (THANK GOD) and it was time to go to after prom. I went shoeless because my feet were killing me and I was so glad to put on a pair of SHOES that I was comfortable in. Getting out of Drexelbrook was a hassle, but within five minutes, we got out and it was on the way to Upper Darby for the after-prom. I checked in again like I had to before and it was time for me to get changed out of the dress that I was wearing into something that was more decent looking to have as well. I think that it was a good for me to change into something and plus, I was hungry on top of that with pizza and sodas. My type of stuff that I would like to eat. However, I was starting to feel tired. I had to find a place to sleep until after prom was over and done with. I went into the quiet room where movies were playing and wanted laid down. Suddenly, without knowing, I fell asleep and I was in a deep sleep until my friend and her boyfriend shook me and told me that they couldn’t find me for a bit and that my stuff was out and had it been stolen, I would’ve freaked. A couple of hours nap was good, but I was still tired and needed to sleep. As Afterprom was finally winding down, I hitched a ride back with my friends family back home. I was really happy that I was finally home. I told my mom I was home and that I was getting my PJS on and needed to sleep. I was happy that I was home and in my pajamas and as soon as I hit that pillow, I was out and I needed sleep, until I was woken up at 10:00 in the morning due to loud noises my mom and brother were saying and plus, I had to look for my damn crown that wasn’t a big deal or anything.

So truth be told here, I didn’t have fun at the prom. The fact that I was with my friends the whole night was good and I did have fun with them, but the nature of what I saw and the fact that I was bombarded with stuff around me and hassle with everything made it. Even though I did have fun with my friends, it would’ve been fun if I had someone with me and share the night with on top of that. I look five years later and see all these interesting proposals to have celebrities or sports figures to go to prom. They sing, make signs or do anything to have them go. Now, a lot of you may know that I have a big **liking** on Minnesota Twins Pitcher and you see him in my twitter profile and header as well, named Phil Hughes (Who played on the Yankees for a while until switching teams for the first time, INFACT, I actually did a podcast on wishing him luck and that I will support him. My #Heelgrape Ride or Die chick, Janet sent the actually link to him because I was shy on sending it to him and surprisingly, he responded to it which I’m generous for). Had I know five years ago, I would’ve done something like that and wrote to the Yankees Organization for Phil to come to my prom, I would’ve been the star of the night, but then again, for the sake of Phil and having Upper Darby’s jocks and preps that I couldn’t stand, it was the right idea to NOT write to the Yankees and have that happen.

Now it’s five years later and I would do anything to redo my prom. First thing is first, since my hair is a little bit shorter and actually with color this time around. I will have it rightfully done the right way and fix the color up that I have now so my brown roots won’t show. I would bring one of my good heel grape friends, Corrin to come along and have her go with a Minnesota Twin as well so she won’t feel alone. The dress I would wear is this.

I think I would look well and of course, have Phil be my date for the night. That’s what I would do to redo my prom and make it less ratchet than my 2009 prom was back then and heck, maybe have a television camera follow me around to show all the people who had a disaster prom, that they can redo their prom the right way if they were alone or felt it was not good enough for them. Even though something like that might not happen. I can still dream right?

To close out my blog, I am going to be posting some of my personal prom photos that were taken here as well as that prom photoshoot I did.

(before I did)


(Me and my friend, Laura)

(My Prom photoshoot pic)

Thanks for reading.

By themeagang